A child throwing a temper tantrum is simply a child who is angry and doesn’t know any other way to express that anger. The fact that the tantrum will solve his anger only because he’s likely to get his way is lost to the child. All he or she understands is that there’s an intense emotion and a temper tantrum seems like a viable outlet.

Sometimes, a child’s temper tantrums are so embarrassing, intense and frustrating to the adults that the immediate reaction is to let the child have his way just so the scene will end. That’s not the best way to handle the situation though it sometimes seems the easiest at the moment of the tantrum.

The first thing to do when a child is throwing a tantrum is to be sure they aren’t going to hurt themselves or someone else. If the tantrums are so severe that the child puts himself and others in danger (banging his head on the wall or throwing things), you already have a serious problem and must address it immediately. A behavioral therapist or your pediatrician might be able to prescribe a drug to help calm those moments.

Allowing the child to throw the tantrum uninterrupted is one option and some swear that it works. Others interrupt and make the child go to his own room or some other designated place to throw the fit. The temperament of your child will best determine what course of action you need to take. Another alternative is to hold the child. Even if he or she is kicking and screaming, your calm presence and embrace can be just what it takes to calm the child.

If the child is old enough to understand the communication, try explaining that you understand he’s angry, but that there has to be a better way to express that anger than a temper tantrum. Allow him to punch a pillow or to go outdoors to jump up and down while yelling. We as adults sometimes have the need to vent a bit of frustration so why should we deny our children the same opportunity?

The most important thing in dealing with temper tantrums is to remain consistent. If you give in to a tantrum now and then, your child is going to see that it’s beneficial to throw a fit and they’ll increase in both frequency and intensity.