You’ve changed the diaper, offered food and tried to burp until you can’t imagine that even a tiny air bubble remains. But the child continues to cry and you’re simply at your wits end. What do you do? Parents – especially first time parents with infants – are liable to reach a breaking point very quickly. Put some safeguards in place to protect your sanity and your baby.

It’s easy to reach the breaking point when the child has cried non-stop for many hours. Shaken baby syndrome and other abuses are often not malicious in intent, but are merely the reaction of a parent or caregiver who can’t cope with a child’s incessant crying. The first step is to be sure there’s nothing seriously wrong. This may very well entail a trip to your pediatrician. A baby and even a small child may be experiencing pain that they can’t convey to you. Even a child who can answer simple questions and make simple requests may not recognize pain for what it is. Instead of realistically explaining the problem, the child may simply cry.

After you’ve ruled out pain, you can move on to the other potential causes for crying. Most babies won’t cry for no reason. They want something. Whether it’s a reasonable request or not is something for you to determine. It may be that they want to be held and if then becomes up to you to honor that want or not. Setting some rules is okay, even with very small children. But it’s also okay to cater to the needs of a baby or child to feel secure. This may include dropping what you’re doing to rock awhile.

It’s also typically okay to let a baby cry for a reasonable amount of time, if you’re sure of the reason for the crying. It’s also okay to remove yourself from the action, at least for a short period of time, though you should never leave a baby alone. You may step out of the room for a brief period, take a few moments to collect yourself, or even call on a friend or family member to take over the duty of caring for the child while you take a break. A short break will often make you much more able to cope with a crying child.

Finally, remember that some children and babies are just fussy. There’s really no reason for it, they simply cry, whine and demand more than other children. The good news is that it won’t last forever. There will come a point where a child is able to tel you what’s wrong, explain demands and ease your worries about the crying.