How do I ask someone out on a date?

Learn how to ask someone out on a date.

Tutorial

Asking someone out on a date isn't as hard as you think! There are a couple of things you can keep in mind when asking someone out.

Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection

A gorgeous woman is sitting at the table next to you. You want to ask her out, to talk to her, to do something before she walks away, but you are frozen with fear. “She will say no and she may even laugh at me…” As these doubts nag at you, you realize she's getting up and walking away. You have missed your chance. The fear of rejection strikes again.

Oftentimes, our deepest regret is our silence. “Why didn't I say something?” The “What if’s” torture you. You wonder for years how your life might be different, if only… And you despise yourself for not being braver, for giving in to your fears and doubts.

How do we overcome this fear? Try this trick. Remember the scent of cinnamon. Can’t recall it? That is because scent is like pain — impossible to physically remember after it is gone. Pain only lasts for a moment and then it is gone. Keeping this in mind will help you overcome your fear. Knowing that the pain will only last a brief second is one way to help you overcome your fear. One day, you will be able to look back at the time when you asked that cheerleader out and laugh about it. Rejection is not as bad as we make it!

Asking people out becomes easier over time. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes and the less fear you will have. Like everything else in life it just takes practice. Do you remember your very first day of school? Or even your first day of college? Do you remember how scared you were? Over time, it became easier, as time went on, it became second nature. Asking people out, starting conversations, and introducing yourself becomes easy with enough repetition.

Asking someone out when you are nervous or afraid pushes your limits. It requires you to step beyond your comfort zone. No matter the results, you can feel good about yourself for not backing down. Facing the fear of rejection squarely without giving in means never having to say “What if…”

Okay, so you are convinced. The next time you find yourself sitting next to a supermodel, you may speak up. Only now you’re wondering what you should say. Wouldn’t you know it?

Asking Someone Out

Asking someone out on a date is not as difficult as we often make it. The less pressure you put on yourself, the easier it is.

Introduce yourself to the person. Ask them for their phone number or get it from a mutual friend. Call the person at a good time and reintroduce yourself and remind them where you met, “Hi, this is Jack Thompson, we met at the concert,” and ask them out for coffee or something casual from our list of first date ideas. If they refuse, be polite and get off the phone.